Worth fighting for
by vivid-heart
Summary: Tony makes Ziva feel too much and she is about to cross a line between pain and control. Tiva, a little bit of McGiva friendship too, complete.


Tony sat in the NCIS cafeteria and he kept his gaze on her. It was this day again, it was few years since he saved her from Saleem. Ziva never really told him, what she had exactly went through and Tony never really asked her about it – but sometimes, the curiosity took over him.

"What did he do to you?" He asked and Ziva put her sandwich back to the plate.

"Who?" She asked.

"Saleem," Tony cleared up and remember the moment years ago, when he had to ask his partner, could she fight. He remembered her face – she had never ever looked like that – so broken, beaten up and hopeless.

"Are we going to discuss about this again?" Ziva asked and rolled her eyes, she was clearly uncomfortable. She did not want to go through any kind of conversation about those days that she was in Somalia.

"Depends on how much are you going to tell me this time," Tony answered.

She looked at the man in front of her - he looked suspicious, "There is nothing to tell," She tried to convince him. "I... we... survived and that is the most important thing," she continued and shrugged, "You saved me."

Confusion shined from Tony's face, "I saved you?"

"Yes," Ziva nodded.

"No," Tony corrected, "Gibbs saved us all."

She shook her head, "Yes, but..."

"There is no buts! Gibbs was the one who saved us all!" Tony remembered the moment, when he was dragging Ziva out with McGee and saw Gibbs – it was like hope rising from the ashes. The plan succeeded and they could take her back home - back where she belonged.

"But you were there first," Ziva said lightly.

"What the hell does that matter?" he asked with a frustrated tone in his voice.

"You came to save me," Ziva lowered her gaze. "Do you know how it feels like, when you are in total darkness and when you finally are able to see, you see someone you know? Do you?" she lifted her gaze to Tony's eyes.

"No," he said quickly and silently. He tried to fight back the images that were popping into his head - images of Ziva being tortured and image of her sitting in front of him with a sack on her head.

"I saw you and I knew – I knew that I would be saved in a way or another," Ziva said and created a humble feeling inside of Tony.

"But I couldn't..."he started but she interrupted him, "Just believe me, you gave me hope. You were there for me."

"So was McGoogle," Tony reminded and remembered when probie lied unconscious on the cold floor.

"Yes, he was, but it was you who I saw first, Tony. And you asked me, could I fight. And I know, that even if I couldn't fight myself, you would fight for me," Ziva took a grip of Tony's hand, "Did I ever thank you?"

He though for a while, "You said something like it."

Ziva smiled, "Thank you." She let got of his hand and leaned against the back of the chair.

Tony smiled back and nodded. "No problemo. Did you thank McNerd too?"

"I did," Ziva answered and remembered the moment in the park. She sat in the park, trying to figure out how did the psych valuation went. She looked absent, when McGee sit next to her. He ask was the past really past. She had told him that it was. But was that really true? Till this day, the past had become as past as the present.

"You weren't there," she continued smiling.

"I figured as much, since I can't remember it," Tony said.

Ziva looked at him questioningly for a few seconds, "Did you ever thank him?"

"Of what?"

"For being there and helping us."

"Yeah, lying unconscious on the floor is very helpful!" Tony said and made Ziva frown a little bit.

"Come on, he did help us."

Tony didn't want to argue with her, because he knew that he was going to lose. "Yea," he admitted quietly and shrugged.

"You should say it to him. Tell him, that he was helpful and that you are proud of him," Ziva suggested and made him laugh.

"Are you kidding me? I don't need to tell McNerd all the time how good he is doing. He knows what I think of him," Tony said.

"All the time? Tell me, Tony, how many times have you said to him, that you are proud of him?" Ziva asked and made Tony think and count with his fingers.

"I lost count," he finally said.

"What a surprise," Ziva raised her right eyebrow.

"Oh, you are the example here, huh? You keep hovering around him, telling him what a good probie he is and how proud you are?" Tony asked and made Ziva smile.

"Sometimes. After all, Tim is my friend."

"Am I your friend, Ziva?" Tony asked and smirked.

She tilted her head a little bit and smirked back, "You are DiNozzo. I do not think you are made as just a friend," she said and made him laugh.

"That might easily be true!"

Ziva laughed with him for a little while, before she went serious, "Tony... You should really tell him sometimes, that you are proud of him."

"Why?" Tony asked and wondered, why was she suggesting something like this.

"Because he looks up to you. You are the senior field agent," Ziva explained, "You are like a mentor."

Tony broke into a sarcastic laugh, "Well in that case, I feel sorry for him!"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Ziva asked and narrowed her eyes.

"Not even McGee wants to be me. I highly doubt that anyone wants to be me," Tony said and looked at the floor, "McGee is doing fine. I don't need to tell him that all the time. He knows he's making me proud by doing his job well and by following Gibbs' rules."

"Are you sure he knows that?" Ziva asked.

Tony lifted his gaze to her eyes and nodded, "I sure hope so."

"Could you just -" Ziva started, but Tony interrupted her, "Can we talk about something else than McGee? He doesn't make a nice dinner conversation."

Ziva went quiet for a little while and Tony lowered his gaze to his plate and looked at his sandwich. He was supposed to eat it, but he had somehow lost his appetite and Ziva wasn't sure what was bothering him again, but she knew, that something was indeed bothering him.

"When did you become like this?" she asked quickly.

"Like what?" he asked and looked at her dark, questioning eyes.

"Cold and regardless," Ziva answered and watched closely his reaction to her words, which was just a shrug and a quick smirk.

"I don't know. You change over the year, Ziva," he said and narrowed his eyes, "Are you saying, that you have stayed the same?"

Ziva shook her head, "No, I am not saying that. I am just saying, that you are not the same Tony you were years ago – and I am not entirely sure, if this Tony better or worse?"

"Everything that has happened to me... There is no way, that you wouldn't change going through all that," he said and Ziva noticed the raising anger in his voice.

"You can't swear that you wouldn't have changed at all," he continued.

"I am not saying that," Ziva said.

"What are you saying then?" Tony demanded an answer.

"I am saying - uh, I don't know!" Ziva through her arms across the air, "I think that something has changed and I don't know what it is!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tony asked. He was confused with the frustrated tone in her voice.

"I am talking about us!" Ziva raised her voice, stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. Tony followed her and told her to stop and explain more.

"I am tired of explaining you the same things million times! I am tired of you being so carefree and cold! You and your problems! You and your women! God dammit, Tony! We all have problems!" Ziva turned to him, her eyes pierced through his, "You are not the only person in this world!"

Tony took a step towards her and something in his eyes changed. His whole body tensed up and it was like it was going to explode, "I know," he said with a deep, silent voice.

"Then why are you acting like you don't know?" Ziva asked, keeping her eyes on him.

"I am DiNozzo, the class clown. Remember?" Tony asked and made her remember the moment, when he asked her who he was.

"Tony..." she started, sounding a bit regretting.

"You don't need to explain," Tony said and started to walk away.

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Wait!" she yelled and took him by the hand, "I did not mean it as a bad thing."

"But it's still the truth! You are the ninja, McGee is the nerd, Abby is everybody's favorite and Gibbs is... Gibbs. I am the clown, half of everything is always my fault and I always have the words prepared. That is my role," he said and released his hand from her grip, "You don't need to explain. I get it," he said before walking away again.

"Oh for the love of God, DiNozzo!" Ziva raised her voice and made him stop, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like a child?"

Tony turned around, raised one eyebrow and walked back to her, "I act like a child?"

"Yes! You are so unbelievably juvenile!" Ziva screamed to him.

Tony chuckled sarcastically, "And you are perfect?"

"No, but," Ziva started but he stopped her.

"You have no right to judge me all the time! You won't let anybody judge you, but you sure as hell judge everybody else! It's not fair, Ziva! You deny yourself to have human emotions and then you scream at me for having them towards an other agent! You judge everybody else, but yourself!" he yelled and after saying those words, he already regretted them.

Ziva looked at her partner with a devastation in her dark eyes. She couldn't say anything, but her gaze told more than her words ever could – the look in her eyes was confused and hurt. She looked at him for a while and turned around.

As she walked away, Tony covered his face with his hands and sighed deeply, "Well done, DiNozzo," he said to himself and and kicked the door that was left open 

* * *

><p>The squadroom was quiet – a tense feeling covered everything.<p>

McGee watched Ziva and Tony from his desk. He observed those countless, angry looks they exchanged. McGee could feel the hate surrounding him and it made him wonder, what had these two said to each other again to make them this upset?

"Hey, guys..." McGee started.

Tony and Ziva turned their gazes to him, "What?" they asked at the same time.

McGee jumped off a little bit, because of the cold, hostile tone in their voices, "Nothing."

"Spit it out, McGoo," Tony suggested.

"Um, I just... I just a – tried to, um -" he stuttered.

"You tried what?" Ziva asked.

McGee became more and more sure of the idea, of not saying anything at all, "Well..."

"Just spit it out!"Tony and Ziva asked and exchanged another hostile look.

"Jeez! What the hell is wrong with you two?" McGee rolled his eyes and decided not to say anything anymore, unless it was absolutely necessary.

"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him?" Tony asked over Ziva.

"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with her?" Ziva asked over Tony.

"What is wrong in here is you and your judgment and your enjoyment of bringing me down, just because I have emotions, unlike Mrs. Mossad over there!" Tony answered and pointed at her.

"Oh my God, DiNozzo! We are back in this subject? You and your world and everything that is wrong with it, but somehow, nothing is your own fault but everybody else's!" Ziva raised her voice and stood up. She stood in a attack position - like in any second, she would jump off and rip his heart from his chest. McGee saw this and started to get very scared of what would happen next.

"You are the one to say!" Tony stood also up, "You live in your own closed world and you won't let anyone in, no matter what have they have done for you! And then you wonder why everyone thinks your cold? And when I tell you the truth or the way I see it, you scream at me for being selfish?" he questioned with a high pitched voice.

Ziva walked to Tony and looked at him with a look, that could kill anyone – it was poisonous and ice cold. There was a thin line in between her rage and her control and he was about to step over that line.

Tony looked at his partner into her dark eyes and didn't flinch. Maybe he was a little scared, but there was no way he would show it to her, because if she would see it, she would rip him to little pieces.

McGee watched these two with his mouth wide open. He was concerned, that someone would really get hurt soon.

"Take it back," Ziva suggested with a deep, slow voice.

"No way. You take it back," he said.

"Over my dead body," Ziva said and stepped a little closer to him.

"You are taking the words out of my mouth," Tony lowered his voice, "I don't need to hear your judgments, David. I am doing just fine without them, but it's not my fault if you can't take the truth."

"Truth? Do you know what that even is? Do you know what it means?" Ziva asked and narrowed her eyes - they were sparkling with anger and need to hurt him – take him to the floor and make him take his words back.

"Better than you," Tony said. She wasn't sure what he meant, but it wasn't that important - the need to make him suffer took over her entire body.

"You are begging me to hut you, DiNozzo," she stepped closer. Her heart was racing - it was a long time ago, when she had last time been this angry. She was afraid to lose control, but somewhere deep inside of her, she just wanted to hurt him badly and make him remember, that she was not meant to be treated like this.

"Go ahead, hit me," Tony suggested and kept his eyes on her.

Ziva raised her fist and made McGee stood up, "Stay out of this, McGee," she said after hearing him standing behind her, ready to break this all off.

She took a grip out of the collar of his shirt and raised her fist higher. Her breaths became short and determined and she was ready – she was ready to make him pay for his words.

Tony didn't move, he barely even breathed, he just looked at her and her dark eyes that were filled with rage. Tony waited for the hit and the pain after it – but it never came.

Ziva let go of the collar and let her arm drop to her side, "You are not worth it," she said quietly and lowered her gaze to the floor, "You are not worth it," she said again and walked away.

Tony allowed himself to breathe again.

McGee looked at him with a disappointment in his eyes and ran after her. 

* * *

><p>Ziva leaned against to sink in the ladies bathroom and took a deep breath. She washed her face with cold water, like she was trying to wash away the anger and the frustration. She jumped off a a little bit, when she saw McGee coming in to check how she was doing. He locked the door and walked to her.<p>

"Why is he doing this?" Ziva asked and tried to keep her voice steady and calm.

"Attack is Tony's best defense," McGee said and leaned against the sink. He looked at Ziva and felt how upset she was.

"I was ready to beat him," Ziva shook her head. She tried to shook away the feeling inside of her, the feeling of satisfaction of finally hitting him. After all these years and after all he had said, he would deserve it, " I was ready to take him down."

"I'm glad you didn't," McGee said.

Ziva looked at herself from the mirror. She despised the look she got from her reflection – the mixture of pity, anger and disappointment, "Am I really the kind of person, that he says I am?" she asked, "Cold and emotionless?"

McGee though for a little while, before he answered, "Sometimes."

Ziva sighed, "He will never stop going through my emotions. He will never let it go."

"Maybe, you should change perspective," McGee suggested.

"What do you mean, Tim?" Ziva asked and turned her back to the mirror.

"I think Tony is so interested towards your feelings, because he is concerned about you," McGee theorized, "He can be an ass, but not always, Ziva. He can be on your side and have your back. I know, that you know it."

Ziva sighed.

"In Somalia, he got cough with me, to save you. He never stopped looking for you, Ziva. He is a childish Casanova, but he is on our side," McGee knew.

Without admitting it out loud, Ziva knew that McGee was right. Tony could be a jackass, but he always had her back. He risked his life to save her. But why couldn't he just tell her, that he was worried? Why he had to fight and argue to make a point?

"I think that, as much as Tony tells stuff about himself to others, in the end, he really doesn't know how to talk about his feelings – and I am talking about the feelings that he feels deep inside of him," McGee said.

"Typical man," Ziva sighed.

"Thank you," McGee smiled a little, pretending to be offended.

"No, I didn't mean it necessarily as a bad thing, Tim. You are nothing like him," Ziva smiled and hugged him, "And I am glad, because of that."

McGee hugged her back, "And you are not cold, Ziva. I refuse to believe it."

"Thank you, Tim," she sighed against the jacket of his suit.

"You're welcome," McGee said and kissed her hair.

Someone knocked on the locked bathroom door.

"There must be a line of women outside," Ziva said.

"You might be right," Mcgee parted from her and walked to the door. Before he unlocked the door, he turned to her, "Hey... Don't take him that seriously and let him affect you like this. He is an ass, but not always," he reminded and opened the door.

Tony stood on the other side of the door with a serious face, "Let me in, probie," he told him.

"I don't think -"

"Shut it, McGoo, let me in," Tony said and even before he could answer, he made his way in. Tony locked the door and gazed at Ziva.

She looked at the door and saw her partner standing just few meters from her. The look in his eyes didn't say much and it was hard to read his actions from the way he was standing there.

"Why didn't you hit me, when you finally had the chance?" Tony asked quietly.

Ziva turned to the mirror, "What good would have come from it?"

"You finally would had a chance to do it," Tony guessed, "I can only guess how many times, you have wanted to beat the crap outta me, and I don't even wonder why. I already know."

"Tell me," Ziva said.

"Because, no matter how many times I annoy you and make you crazy, I also..." Tony started and walked to her. He raised his hand and turned Ziva's gaze to him and caressed her cheek, "I also care that much."

Ziva looked at his green eyes, it was a long time ago since the last time they looked this sincere. She felt like she didn't need to say anything.

"I am sorry, Ziva," Tony admitted quietly.

"Tony..." she opened her mouth and a flash of smile visited her lips.

"Spear those words too, I already know them too," Tony said and stepped away from her, "You don't need to apologize for me. You don't need to say you're sorry for me," he said, "Because I know, that I speak through my mouth when I get a little upset."

Ziva kept quiet.

"But I am on your side, Zee-vah," Tony smiled.

Ziva smiled back and stepped closer to him. She leaned towards his chest, "Thank you."

That was all the words they both needed to hear. 

* * *

><p>Tony walked back to the squadroom and sat on McGee's desk. He got confused by senior field agent's actions and asked him, what he had done wrong this time.<p>

"Nothing, McNerd," Tony started, "I just thought I could come here to say one thing."

"Don't you think, you have said enough for today?" McGee asked. Tony flashed him a smile, that told him to shut up and listen.

"Somalia..." Tony started and once again, brought up the moments to both of their minds, when being saved seemed almost impossible, "When we got out... Did I ever thank you?"

McGee thought about his words for a while, "I don't think so, I can't remember you saying it. But I don't think that I would have even expected that from you."

"Thank you, Tim," Tony smiled and a probie, who rarely got to hear words like that from him, felt very proud of himself. McGee smiled back and laughed a little bit, without showing how much Tony's words meant to him.

Senior field agent laughed lightly and pushed playfully his shoulder with his fist.

Ziva looked at them from a little distance and smiled.

Tony felt a gaze in his back and turned around. He saw his partner looking at him with a smile on her pink lips. He nodded and she nodded back. 

They all had their weaknesses and strengths, but together they were so much more than a team... a family. 

* * *

><p><strong>so this was a bit random idea, but i wanted to make ziva punch tony - and you see, she almost did. <strong>  
><strong>and i wanted some mcgiva in here too.<strong>  
><strong>but the basic idea was to give mcgee some credit for existing, but... it didn't quite work out.<strong>  
><strong>i gave him some credit, but in the end, i think this is more tiva, what a surprise!<strong>  
><strong>and again, i don't own ncis, sadly.<strong>  
><strong>hope you even tried to enjoy.<strong>  
><strong>- L<strong>


End file.
